You have kids. You’re getting divorced. Keep this in mind…
Divorce is difficult for everyone. Parents make it even harder on their kids when they continue fighting or pointing fingers in blame. When parents can’t communicate with each other in a healthy way, the kids suffer. If parents can’t speak directly for one reason or another, communication through a professional intermediary may become necessary. Kids who have to tolerate constant arguments or disparaging remarks may become withdrawn, angry, depressed and/or anxious. Behaviors may change at home or school – grades may plummet as well. Overcome any temptation to suddenly indulge your child or buy his love – it is counterproductive and may lead to manipulation and other problems. Help your kids (and yourself!) by reassuring them that they are not responsible for the divorce or separation. Make sure your children know you want them to have a loving and fulfilling relationship with the other parent. Kids need consistency so make every effort to be on time during exchanges. Do your best to come to agreements about discipline. When you’ve tried to agree about important decisions that affect your kids but don’t get the result you want, try again. In the end, if parents cannot come to agreements, the appointment of a Child & Family Investigator (CFI) by a judge can help. The CFI will learn about you and your children, consider the issues at hand, provide a recommendation for resolution in a written report and may testify in court as an expert witness.